The Difference Between Power And Contol

According to dictionary.com, there are at least 15 different definitions for both power and control. This post is about what they mean to me.

Power to me is positive. Control is not.

Power is over the self. Control is for others.

Power is the ability to do or act; the choice to do or act. It is possession or delegation of authority. It is an energy; a force; making something happen.

Control is to hold back. To test. To prevent or eliminate or stop. To dominate. Manipulation is a form of control.

Yes, I know it’s a fine line between the two. It’s a matter of perspective. Stay with me here.

 

I have the power to make myself get up off the couch and attack the pile of laundry from last week. I have to control (bribe, scold, manipulate, etc) my teenage daughter to get her to do her own laundry.

When I use my power to do, I am my strong self. When I control others, I feel weak; small; less than. I feel controlled.

I like to feel powerful. I don’t like to control really.

I have power over my own thoughts and actions. I cannot control other people’s thoughts or actions. I don’t want to. They own those. I can ask questions or say things to make them think. I can do that to TRY to make them think the way I do. But that’s manipulation. They stand to lose who they are to a degree. Who am I to take that away from them? And in the end, what they think is what they think. They have the power to accept or deny what I say; what I think. They have my point of view. I gave it to them. If they welcome it into their world or throw it on the ground and stomp on it is up to them.

Screaming, running, undisciplined kids in public. Ugh. I can control those kids, but they are not mine to discipline. I do have the power to breathe deep, focus deeper on why I am there and remove myself from the situation.

I have the power to control or not. And I choose not. I choose to be powerful over the control.

I have the power to shut out the rest of the world. I have the power to tell it to leave me alone. I cannot control whether it does or not.

I have the power to be happy. I have the power to control someone trying to make me upset. I have the power to control my own thoughts so I don’t unnecessarily berate me. SO much easier said than done!

I pick at my face and have from the start of my acne. No matter that Ellen said my fingernails had poison on them. No matter that it hurts and makes me look terrible. I used to think it was because I wanted something to control. Guess what? I can’t control those stupid zits. Not without medication or hormones. Not the type I have. I have the power to not pick at my face. DUH! Maybe I was trying to get all the impurities out via the acne. I am not perfect, but I am strong enough and centered enough to know my impurities are all in my mind.

I have heard that power is the possession of control. My gut reaction is to disagree. For me, this applies more to one’s own person. To have power you must have some control. But do you need control to have power? I think not. I believe control is the illusion of power.