While you must accept you are in this moment and it is perfect, you must also accept that others are where they are meant to be and their moment is perfect.

I believe our lives are what they are; that we are who we are; that what is happening to us is all for a reason. Though that reason may not present itself for a day or a month or 10 years or maybe never.

I have friends who recently experienced incredible losses. My heart aches for them. All dealt with their losses in their own way - denial, all out grief, pragmatically, support. I have been through a tough time I thought was behind me just recently.

I wanted to console these friends with a hug or words to make it all go away for them or just to be the shoulder they cried on.

That’s when I realized I was there for them. All they had to do was ask. I understood too they were suffering and had to deal with it however they saw fit. Because they were in that place and it was perfect for them. I accepted that with love in my heart.

Not all the places or moments feel “perfect”. Sometimes they suck. They hurt. They certainly don’t tickle. Yet they are perfect. If they were meant to be different, then they would be. But they’re not.

I have learned to take comfort that all I go through is perfect here and now. I don’t try to understand. I accept it for what it is. I grieve the loss or ride the wave fully.

I am learning not to console with cliques or words of wisdom. I am learning to take comfort that this moment is perfect here and now for those suffering also. Nothing but time – and it may take a lot of it – will heal those I care about who are hurting.

I will be there when called on. Regardless of the reason. Even if it’s stupid or I disagree with the situation or goes against all I believe in. I don’t have to agree to support a friend in need. It’s their life – their decision. I am no one to judge that. I may voice my unfiltered thoughts and it may not be pretty, but I’ll be there.

“It is what it is” is just about overused now, but so true and it’s a good mantra to live by. Accept the situation. Deal with it Move on. Learn from it.

Know this moment is perfect for you. And everyone around you.